I don't like the mix of feelings gripping me lately. I didn't expect it. He notices, he's hurt, and I fail to have an adequate explanation. It's been 9 months, darling...... It's been so long....so very long....
I am afraid of what will happen when he steps back into my world. Not afraid of the good, but of the ugly, the stressful, the frusterating. Am afraid to face my marraige again, with all it's faults..... Life is so hard being alone, and yet so easy in ways. I'm afraid of the change. I love him, I want him home, but my heart is fighting it. Too afraid of the change. Too tired of change. Too settled into what life has become. And maybe a little bit bitter that he left in the first place.
Don't be hurt, hunny.... Be glad I've been faithful... and give me time to sort this out.....
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